Thursday, October 21, 2010

In The Big Scheme Of Things


...so I found my son, sitting on the hall steps, in the dark, head in hands, the other morning...at 5.30am (we start early that day - Guitar Ensemble practice). Apparently his big brother was downstairs studying for a maths exam and "he doesn't want me around" (cue melodramatic head flop). The devastation of it all.

It followed a weekend of 'tough love'. After 'dibber dobbing' on his brother for something, I promptly separated them, sending little one to his bed.. in an attempt to show him that dobbing doesn't achieve anything good. I swear I could hear him gasping in his room. Like I'd turned off his life support. His big brother really is his oxygen. We overheard him calling out to his brother, studying in the other room, "are you missing me?" All of 5 minutes it had been.

They love each other. It really is heart clutching stuff. Hubby and I watch them when they're out together. It's not just the little one, big brother always reaches out for his little brother. He often walks with his arm around him. At the school crossing, they hold hands. When they're out in the big wide world together, they are united. Protective of each other.

I often try to break it up a bit. "C'mon, just you and me, lets go to the shops together. We'll have sushi and just spend some special time together, Mother and son". "Yeah, good, but can Brynley come too Mum?.... pleeeeease. I can't just be the only one who has sushi. That's not really fair". Oh he's good.

I hope it lasts, I hope they are best friends for life.... when hubby and I are long gone.

If so, their love and support of each other... will be my greatest achievement.
Photobucket

40 comments:

  1. I just burst into tears! What a beautiful post and I would be truly proud of their relationship if I were you! Hmmmm, very timely for me also as my little one has just started dobbing. Handy, but not really a personality quality I want to encourage!

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  2. You speak to my heart, you do..No doubt your parenting is the reason they love and respect each other the way they do. My girls treat each other as I treat them. I have watched parents treat their children with contempt and aggressiveness and then wonder why they treat their siblings with the same! Charlotte and Bridget are inseparable and not out of fear but because they really love one another. I think that's why it has every chance of staying that way. Lots of love to you and the boys..and thanks for the early morning tears..Rachaelxx

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  3. Best job in the world...being a mum and moments like that remind us so. We also have 2 chn - boy and girl. and with 6 years aoart, they get along so well. I too hope our legacy is that they look out for each other when my husband and I are long gone...have a lovely thursday! xxxHelen

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  4. Oh what a beautiful post! Tears in eyes here. My two boys although younger than yours are the same and it is so wonderful to see. Ollie has just started school and Tommy is missing him so much! Ollie is the older protective brother too, arm around him and 'watch out for cars Tommy'. Just gorgeous! Letiti x

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  5. After saying goodbye to hubby and two sons i am exhausted after trying to get big boy (18) up. he got up with 15 minutes left to get ready, have breakfast and get out the front door. the stress of it all. i am up so early to get them ready eg lunches and some mornings its such a chore. young son (12) had a sniffly nose and wanted the day off school so he was leaving it until the last minute to get ready! cant take tablets so i ran out of Dimetapp this mornign and he actually took a tablet for the fist time this morning. Finally! hubby said as he kissed me goodbye, you look stressed!! what an understatement! Cathyx

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  6. Oh A-M, you have brought tears to my eyes. You have gorgeous boys and I am sure they will be life long friends. My sister and I are very close, I always remember Mum saying you two are like Siamese Twins. Mimi xx

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  7. Ooh, too delightful. That was such a nice thing to read first thing in the morning - I have a big lump in my throat. You must be doing something very right to have such great boys. I commented to a friend after your house Armchair Trader sale that "those boys really are as lovely as they sound". X

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  8. How sweet and special A-M.
    X
    V

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  9. That is a really nice post. Often in photos of your boys they are glued together - so cute. Mine are quite close too but not to your standard. I often hear the little one saying 'your not the boss of me!' and I have a laugh in the background. ;-)

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  10. That was a beautiful post AM. It seriously almost put a tear in my eye and makes me think about having children. You are a great mum :)

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  11. Tears welling in my eyes here too! What a beautiful post. A fantastic bond - may it last their whole lives. My two are 21 months apart (boy 4 in Jan., girl 2 on Sunday), and they have a mostly good relationship. It warms my heart to see them looking out for each other - I really hope it lasts.

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  12. That's so nice to see the love they have for each other, and it's a testatment to you and your hubby. My three are very close too, and it's great to know they have each other's back. Although it can go a little too far - my son gave his sister's boyfriend hell until he was sure he was 'ok' - his words. Heaven help anyone who messes with the girls in this family! K xx

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  13. Tears are pouring down my face - drat and I'm just about to go out for coffee! Here was me celebrating having actually gotten all 3 children to school on the same day (everyone has been sick) and now I just want them home again for one more cuddle. A.M. you do get to the heart of things. no wonder your boys are so lovely and caring.

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  14. So sweet! My boys are the same, I too have my fingers crossed that it lasts xx

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  15. Such a sweet little post! I hope my two girls can remian close like this throughout the tears and tantrums. Thanks for sharing!

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  16. This mornings post is heart wrenching A-Me, I can feel the love pouring through your words.
    Undoubtedly your lads will be best mates for life, but little one may be in for a rocky time as Brynley's schoolwork increases and his hours are spent pouring over books...alone.
    At times kids who are studying still need to be in close proximity to family eg. commandeering the dining table. Just don't try and make small talk while they are at it! Very awkward for family dynamics, bit like walking on eggshells.
    I believe you are being very sensible in your approach to interest the boys in some separate activities to acclimatize Kristian to this changing landscape.
    My two drifted apart in high school but now are reconnecting to the point I'm confident each will support the other.
    Parenting at times is one tough gig.
    xx

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  17. Beautiful post today A-M! I wish that for my family too.
    Take care
    Janine
    XXOO
    N.W. Coast Tassie

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  18. That is really beautiful, you made me teary!! Your boys are lovely, I look forward to that with Sophie and her sibling(s) -just gotta make them first, lol.

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  19. You are the best Mum in the world. You made those little people. They have learnt all of that from you xoxox

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  20. That's all that matters, right there.

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  21. Beautiful.
    I have the same relationship with my sister and my two brothers have that same relationship with each other.
    And we arent kids anyomre.
    I hope it lasts for them too. Your siblings are really your closest bestest friends.

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  22. *tears* here too :)
    so beautiful. I hope my boys love each other that much as they grow up.
    you and your hubby are very obviously doing something very very right.
    xxx

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  23. Aww that is so sweet, my boys are at times the same. But they do fight on the odd occasion. I overheard Master 6 say to Master 8 - your not my favourite brother anymore - to which Master 8 replies - how can that be, Im your only brother!! lol I think Master 6 was stumped by that one cause then all he could do was give his brother a big cuddle!! Soo cute!! I love the little men in my life!!

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  24. There is 27 months between my boys and although they are a couple of years younger than yours, their relationship is a beauty to behold. Like your two, they really are the best of mates and often refer to each other as 'Best Brothers'.
    I like you can only hope that nothing ever causes this to change (not even the arrival of their baby sister in a few weeks).

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  25. Oh A-M, this post has made me cry! It really is such a beautiful thing!! You should be so proud of them, but you should also be so proud of you and your husband for raising such gorgeous loving brothers. My husband and I made a very conscious decision when we had our second daughter, to really make the effort to ensure that we did as much as we could to promote a loving relationship between our girls. Sometimes it is more work than at other times, but like your boys, our girls are really close. Now we have Miss Lottie, she is the same as your youngest....sobs if we separate her from Olivia for more than 5 mins! Your boys are just gorgeous and obviously a reflection of their gorgeous Mum! Hugs to you lovely lady ~ Tina xx

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  26. There is no doubt it will last - they just go together like pea's & corn (sorry really stupid analogy but I can't for the life of me think of anything else that go together - except perhaps my brain and dementia). To be honest I am a little jealous b/c at the moment my eldest two just want to annoy each other - this I am hoping will change, otherwise I may have to move out......

    Katie

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  27. thats the 2nd time this week I've heard that term "dibber dobber", the 1st time was on that tv show The Block. Obviously I missed out on some things at school! keep up the good work mum!

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  28. Gorgeous! What a great photo - it really sums it up.

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  29. So beautiful A-M - such a great achievement. My two big girls are similar in that they are constantly looking for each other, it is though they are a package and come together - on her home day I am sure Sofia asks me 100 times "is it time to go and get Sienna yet" but you know the minute they walk in the house together it is a constant battle to stop the competitiveness! They can't live without each other but they create an air of craziness together in the house! Lovely post A-M. Leanne x

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  30. That is so sweet! My greatest hope is that someday my 2 boys will have that kind of relationship. At 5, my younger son is finally enough of a little person where my older(14) is no longer treating him like an interloper. Every now and again I find the 14yo helping the 5yo with "Club Penguin" with the little one snuggled into the crook of his arm. More often than not, though, I'm wondering if I can run to the corner store without coming back to the little one locked in a closet.

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  31. heart-tugging! you know how much I adore your wee-ones!

    xo,
    joan

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  32. Dear Ms A-M, This post has almost sent me over the edge! I can't start crying because I am in the business centre of a hotel. I am missing my girls terribly. My girls are so similar to your boys - except that they would be more intertwined on the couch while watching TV. My eldest is 11 and my youngest is 8. A punishment for them is to say that they cannot sleep together in the same bed. I love the fact that they will be able to ring each other up when they are grown up and complain about me when I am gaga (and probably before)and know that they are each other's oldest and dearest friends.

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  33. what a blessing! good on you all:)

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  34. Please don't tell anyone, but your post made me feel all teary and emotional, and we can't have that, stiff upper lip etc! Your post was so beautifully expressed. Your boys sound so lovely. I hope my boys will stay close in later life too, as we are short on extended family. The oxygen analogy you use is a really good one - I think oxygen is needed to start fires?? which might explain all the flare ups we have, and yet, they can't leave eachother alone..xx

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  35. your boys are so great- testament to Superior Parenting I'd say.

    A-M will I ever regain a modicum of health? How am I going to action a series of long haul flights in a week????

    xxxx

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  36. That's very sweet, and so rare, as you probably realize. I debated long and hard about deciding to have an only child, but I realized that the vast majority of people I know don't actually like their siblings, and while I love my sister, she added a serious level of drama to my family's life. So. If I could be guaranteed to have children with the kind of relationship your boys have, I'd do it in a minute, but there are no guarantees in life!

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  37. This is such a gorgeous post. I'm proud of them and I don't even know them. You must be a sensational mum to raise such beautiful spirits.

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  38. Love this post. You're boys seems like such good sweet boys and that isn't just by chance, you know. I'm sure they will be close for life. Siblings always go through ups and downs and times when they are closer than not but when you have start like this I don't think you ever lose that bond! xo
    Trina

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Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave me a comment. I love hearing from you. A-M xx