Thursday, January 13, 2011

Morning After

I have just woken up and I am scared to open the blinds to look out the window. The flood peaked at 4am. What am I waking up to? How can the pictures on TV get any worse. You could only see the roofs of houses yesterday, how much worse can this get?

My boys and I are in a hotel in Spring Hill, the higher side of the central business district. The rest of the CBD is under water. UNDER WATER! I cannot believe this. This is Brisbane I am talking about. Beautiful, beloved Brisbane. Oh my heart goes out to my fellow Brisbanites. We are all hurting so much. I still remember the 1974 flood, I was 7. This is so much worse.

I need to occupy my boys, they are grieving their lizards. They don't care about losing everything, just their lizards. I couldn't believe it when I heard my little one call out in his sleep last night, "they drowned". I just cried and cried into my pillow.

My mind is bargaining with me. Please, just only one metre of water through my little unit... so that I can still salvage the stuff in the tops of the cupboards? What was up there?.. my beautiful scarves, some shoes, the boys boxes of origami, some pretty teacups. Please make it not have submerged my whole home. Please make it only have gone up the legs of the piano but not inside it. I am begging with the universe now. Please make the lizards still be alive somehow.

I have searched and searched for photos of my street on the internet. All I can find is photos of local nearby streets and all you can see is the tops of the street signs. My favourite little local coffee shop, you can't even see it's roof, just the street sign on the corner of where it was. You can only see the tops of the big fig trees that were on the river bank where I used to walk in the morning. Do you know how high they were. Oh my God.... so much water. My suburb is completely submerged. Oh my God.

I can hear helicopters and alarms ringing. Ok, I am going to be brave and look out the window, turn the TV on and find out where we're at. I will venture out and take some photos on my iphone and share them with you today. I need to stay focussed on something. I will be back later in the day to share what I find.

Oh my heart is so heavy.
Photobucket

64 comments:

  1. Hi A-M, I've been thinking of you and your boys constantly since I heard about the floods. I'm so sad for you, your family, and your community. Please know that I'm thinking of you all with love. Kiki

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  2. Oh my, it sort of seems weird to type (but people who know me will think not) but I am so sad thinking about your lizards. I desperately hope they're ok for your boys. Please post as soon as you know anything? Take care x

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  3. I dear, this is so terrible. I'm totally not myself anymore because of this whole tragedy allthough I live on the other end of the world. Australia has always been like a dream to me and now this happens. I can imagine, or try, how you must feel, heavy hearted (don't know if this is the right expression, english is not my native language after all and it's so hard to express feelings in a foreign language).

    So, I'll just write it in dutch: Ik wens jullie heel veel moed (courage) and sterkte (strength) en doorzettingsvermogen en steun bij elkaar in deze moeilijke tijd. Weet dat veel mensen met jullie meeleven.

    Groetjes,
    Bye,
    Marian

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  4. In the midst of all of this horror, we are thankful for you and your updates.

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  5. Oh A-M, I really hope it's not as bad as they predict. I hope the lizards are somehow ok and some things are salvagable but if not as you say they are only things and we are all here for emotional support and sending lots of love. I wish I could do more... Jxx

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  6. A-M my heart is breaking for you, your boys and everyone affected by the flooding.

    I'm holding my breath hoping that your unit is spared just a little xoxo

    Take Care and be safe..

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  7. Oh A-M, know that our hearts are heavy with yours and we are wishing you all the best. So glad you are safe. xoxo from very snowy New England.....robin

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  8. A-M,
    I hope you are ok and my heart goes out to you all. Hopefully things will get better.

    All things nice...

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  9. OMG, A-M!

    I've not had use of my computer due to cleaning it out and I couldn't visit until now. I have no words, no words.

    The only thing that brings me solace is the fact that you and your sons are together and physically fine. My prayers will join all others for this devastation to stop and miraculously save your dear sons' lizards and your household possessions and, of course, the whole of the affected areas.

    We can come to your aid, A-M if you need us. I know I'm speaking collectively here, but your readership is the most compassionate group I know of.

    I see a stronger A-M whence you get through this and your sons too.

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  10. I am so sorry for you, your family, your beautiful town. Thinking of you! Please let me know if there is anyway to help.

    Amy R.

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  11. I hope when you opened your window that it was better than you expected! Thinking of you and all those affected by this awful flooding!

    Kat

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  12. A-M thinking of you and the boys as always.
    I'm also hoping the lizards have somehow survived for Brynley and Kristian. Thank you for the updates and for being you.
    Love to you always. xox

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  13. The thing I worried about the most, the lizards. They have been a shining light in an otherwise very sad time for your boys. I feel so sad to think they have lost something so precious to them. They have a wonderful mum though, stay strong..Love Rachaelxx

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  14. A-M, remember, everyone is watching this, everyone is just waiting to help here. Everyone!

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  15. I am so glad to hear you are ok and hope your lizards are too. It's all dreadful and there are really no words. Love and kisses to you all. Hope it stops today. Emma.

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  16. I'm hoping and praying for you..... xxx

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  17. Hoping and hoping for you! Don't be afraid!
    Just look at all this mess strait in the eye and say: This can't get me under! I am way to strong!
    Me and my boys can manage, we have each other, we are not alone!
    And no - you are not alone!
    xoxo
    Victoria

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  18. AM Brynly and Kristian we send our love and courage to you. We are so sorry you have lost your things and pets. When our stick insects lay eggs again, if you would like some eggs the Moerks kids would love to send them to you. We feel very heavy in our hearts. Thank you AM for your updates.

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  19. AM I am hopeful for you, very hopeful. The levels (from what I have seen on tv) aren't as high as they had thought and predicted so truly my fingers are crossed that the lizards are ok and that you will be able to salvage some of your beautiful things. I'm a former Brissie girl and remember the 74 floods very vividly, I think I was about 6 or 7, I don't think any of us who remember the 1974 floods ever thought it would happen again in our lifetime. Our thoughts are with you and yours, x

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  20. A-M such a terrible time. Thankfully your most valued possessions are safe. The boys. It certainly doesn't sound good for anything left in your home. But keep hold of the thought that your boys are safe. Any else can be replaced. It may seem terrible to be thinking like that and certainly not what you want to be telling the boys who naturally will be devastated about the lizards but it is what will get you through.
    Keep out of that water. I worry for your health.

    Hugz and best wishes,
    Kerry

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  21. I can't even imagine the heartbreak you and many others are suffering.I pray for a miracle..xx

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  22. A-M just take one hour at a time , just put one foot in front of the other. Hold your boys close.
    Thinking of you, Ally

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  23. A year ago my daughter was 4 and we were watching the news about the earthquakes in Haiti. Today we watched video of the river flooding Brisbane. She asked if we would ever see NYC on the news and how they would know to come get us off our roof. I hugged her close, recalling images from her very first day on this planet, they day after Hurricane Katrina tore through the South.

    Then, randomly, someone sent me your cape cod blog and it led me here. I am so glad to know that you and your family and others are safe. My heart breaks for the boys and the lizards. And your home, even if it was just full of stuff, was a life's work. You can and will rebuild another beautiful gorgeous home to create many more amazing memories with your two boys and all the new pets they will accumulate over the years.

    I know you feel you have expended as much energy as one person can this year. You have reserves. We are all here for you and your neighbors.

    be well, stay safe.

    Jenny in NYC

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  24. Wow. I've been so busy trying to get my girls back on track with their school work that I completely missed the fact that Brisbane in flooded. Prayers to you and everyone there. I hope the lizards make it.

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  25. I have been thinking of you too, our hearts are heavy. There are some great auctions & raffles raising money for the flood appeal, links on my blog, plus my own auction & raffle, spread the word. We all care, we all love Brisbane.
    My husband has found a way from Coffs Harbour to Brisbane, he thinks, so he can help & start work on Monday, well doubt it will be work but rescue jobs instead. He's dreading the recovery work, but he's the perfect person to do it.
    Can't believe how much i care about your insects too, love Posie

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  26. Sending you some love. What a scary and upsetting time for you. I hope things come to rights more quickly than expected. So much love and prayers. x Miriam

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  27. A-M I hope you and the boys get some peace soon and like you I am now praying that by chance some things might be spared. That would be wonderful! Thinking of you all and thank you for these updates xxx

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  28. I just want to cry right now! I can't believe all this is happening!
    Keep in touch!

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  29. Dear A-M
    I am sitting here this morning watching the television coverage in disbelief. I cannot believe what has happened. We live with floods here in the Far North every year - but nothing prepares you for the destruction. I am only hoping that the fact that it did not reach the 1974 height means that your possessions have been saved? My heart feels so heavy and as I write this the tears are welling in my eyes. I am aching with pain for you all. I have been unable to contact my son Matthew - he is a boarding master at Churchie College and I know he spent most of yesterday shifting College property from the gymnasium. He has more than likely lost power in his phone but hopefully he is safe and sound on high ground. Please keep us updated on your situation. I wish there was something we could do. Sending you heaps of hugs (and hope!) ;)Sharyne

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  30. Just know we are all thinking of you and the lizards too. Mel xx

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  31. Oh A-M, I have my fingers crossed that you can salvage some of your beautiful things. My heart is breaking for the boys and their lizards too. So much water, so much sadness.

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  32. We are just so glad that you and your boys are ok AM...and thank goodness for the blogging as its the only way we can check up on you to make sure. Stay strong sweety..the spirit of all the people there is amazing..Aussies really get together and soldier on...this is what you must do honey..stay strong and focuses on what you can and do have control over...rather than what you dont..as it will only weigh your head and heart down even more. Thinking of you sweetheart x

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  33. We are just so glad that you and your boys are ok AM...and thank goodness for the blogging as its the only way we can check up on you to make sure. Stay strong sweety..the spirit of all the people there is amazing..Aussies really get together and soldier on...this is what you must do honey..stay strong and focuses on what you can and do have control over...rather than what you dont..as it will only weigh your head and heart down even more. Thinking of you sweetheart x

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  34. We are just so glad that you and your boys are ok AM...and thank goodness for the blogging as its the only way we can check up on you to make sure. Stay strong sweety..the spirit of all the people there is amazing..Aussies really get together and soldier on...this is what you must do honey..stay strong and focuses on what you can and do have control over...rather than what you dont..as it will only weigh your head and heart down even more. Thinking of you sweetheart x

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  35. Oh My Gosh AM. I'm so very sorry. There are no word. Just know the love and power of prayer is on your side. I'm adding you to our prayer chain. Please find comfort in that a small town in Iowa USA is praying for you.

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  36. I still can't believe all of this is happening to you. I only pray that the madness in your life ends soon and you come out the other side happier than you have ever been.

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  37. Prattville, Alabama USA

    Our hearts are so heavy for you and we have prayed so many heartfelt prayers these last few days. It's all over CNN. We are wondering how we can help YOU and your boys. How does one go about sending money to another country? We've never done this before? Know that you are not alone, even in the dark of the night when it feels like it.

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  38. Oh dear A-M, I'm in tears reading things from your persepctive and thinking about your boys and their lizards. I have been praying for them to survive along with your belongings and woke this morning desparate to turn on the radio and hear how things in your town were. Thinking of you x

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  39. My heart is aching hearing your words and the sadness in them. You have been through so very much. And now this too. I wish that I could reach in and just hug you. They say they are only objects in the house and yes they are correct. But they are your objects. Things that you love and the boys love. It is just a terrible situation. You will get through this, because it is all we can do when disaster strikes. We cannot give up. Who will fix things if we don't. But for now, it is ok to cry, because I would be curled up crying as well.
    You and the boys are in my thoughts.

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  40. You know I'm here if you need me..
    xxx

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  41. Dear A-M
    It's so hard to find the right words... I feel heartbroken for you and so sorry you are going through this.. all of you up there and pray that your situation has not become worse and that your belongings and lizards are safe... I'm just so glad that you and the boys are safe... the magnitude of this disaster is still a little beyond my comprehension...

    Thanks for keeping us updated.. be safe when you go out today... Sending big hugs to you and the boys... xxx Julie

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  42. Our son is in Milton but up a hill, thank you God, but the lack of power the threatening atmosphere and the worry of their parents are not a good thing for my Grandchildren who are only littlies. I hope your boys are coping. It will take a while I know. God bless you all xoxo

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  43. You are doing an amazing job A-M, the last few months have tested your will but I know you determined spirit will see you pull through this too! You should be proud of yourself and your very unique and very much admired ability to bounce back!

    Rachael

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  44. Best wishes to you and your boys AM. I hope you all get through with with your spirit intact, and come out the other side stronger for a new start to 2011!

    XXOO

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  45. My heart is breaking for you, for Brisbane and for Australia. I also send out good vibes to the universe that your piano and lizards are protected from the water. I can't imagine how I would cope but I think you're being incredibly courageous in sharing your hopes and fears with us.

    Stay safe! Hoping and praying that the waters retreat asap!!!

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  46. Dear A-M
    Remember "this too shall pass". It will not be like this forever. Try to take it just one small step at a time and remind yourself of what you do have. Know that so many are thinking of you 3 and that we are all praying for all of you. We are holding on very tightly to you so that you can feel anchored in these turbulent times. So very sorry for all that you are going through. I hope that you witness some miracles and find that you have not lost all that you fear you have. Keeping those lizards in my thoughts too. Much love to you and your boys.
    Nancy W/USA

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  47. AM you've got 806 followers to your blog and all are thinking about what you are going through - I know I am. Good luck - I hope there is lots that is salvageable. Please keep blogging as we are all waiting to hear how you are. Did ‘the house that A-M Built’ go under?

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  48. When I heard that the peak was less than they expected, my first thought was of your little place and your boys lizards. My thoughts are with you and if there is anything we can do for you - from another state or country, you know you only need to ask.

    My thoughts are continually with you and everyone affected by this. Its going to be a long road but you will get your city and lives back and be stronger for it.

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  49. Thanks for the updates A-M, glad to hear you and your boys are safe and hope and pray that things will be okay when you return home..
    It's so unfair that you have had to endure this after your heartbreak but you will come out the other side a much stronger person.

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  50. Those lizards are queensland lizards they are tough they might surprise us yet and have made it through. Thinking of you and the boys xx katherine

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  51. I've just discovered your blog, and am so sorry to hear of your troubles and that of your neighbors...I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way... XO

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  52. Thinking of you and glad to hear that you and the boys are safe. I hope that you find your house isn't badly affected and that the lizards are OK. It broke my heart to read that you had to leave them behind. :(

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  53. I'm crying for you all, just as I did last night when I saw the TV reports. I cannot imagine. But I can pray and reassure you that as long as you've your family, all will be well.

    Love from Nova Scotia, Canada.

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  54. Thinking of you. Hurting for you. A new follower.

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  55. I have been thinking of you all every minute.....
    I have no more words. x

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  56. Thinking of you constantly.... be brave...hugs to you and your boys...Take care. Kym X

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  57. Dear A-M

    Sending lots of love to you and your boys, hoping that you are all ok and that the lizards made it. Our thoughts are with you.

    xxoo

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  58. One of my friends posted this on Facebook.

    'This dear old man on telly affected by the floods and who lost his wife a few months ago, when asked about what he would find when he got back to his home said "I've learnt over the years not to cry for things that don't cry for you."'

    I'm hoping only for the best for you, A-M. xx

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  59. I've been praying for you. I want you to know that my family and I had to rebuild our home after Hurricane Katrina flooding and destruction. I understand your anxiety, sadness and despair. If you need anything please let us know. We lost everything in our home. Little things can help temporarily if you are displaced or whatever the circumstances may be. We are here for you. I've been there myself and people on my online communities were SO kind to us when we were going through this. (((HUGS)))

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  60. I am sending many heartfelt prayers your way, Ann Marie. I hear the utter sadness and desperation in your voice. Please know that all of us in the U.S know of your plight and are praying.

    XO,
    Jane

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  61. The water in Brisbane is unbelievable - I can't imagine what it's like to be living in the midst of it all.

    Hang in there - the water WILL go away and things WILL get better.

    I'm crossing all my crossable parts for you and your boys and your lizards that you all come out of it safe & sound.

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  62. Oh, Honey. Reading this in Hobart with goosebumps and a heavy heart. Just hoping and praying for as little damage as possible to your belongings and that the lizards have miraculously survived. J x

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  63. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and your family too. As well as everyone in Brisbane.

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Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave me a comment. I love hearing from you. A-M xx