Thursday, April 26, 2012

This And That



After the Anzac Day Memorial Service at school, I spent most of yesterday here.... scratching away. Scratching, scratching, scratching. The 'my ears are bleeding' quips from the boys have stopped... and they're now saying, "it's sounding better Mum". Ha, I only practise the really hard bits when they're not around! It's all very technically hard. I have the soundtracks playing on my computer next to me so at least I am keeping up now with the pace of the music. Serious challenge. I'm leaving my violin permanently there, out of it's case, so I am encouraged to pick it up and practise it whenever I have a spare moment. Sitting in that chair does make me play better. It does. The chair. I love it. We've been through exciting times that chair and I.

If we're lucky, we might get to the end of the year with that shrinking blazer!

Had to put up a photo of my boys. So proud of them. They enjoyed the format of the Anzac service. We looked through the roll call of past school students who never made it back from war. It was so long!!! ... so, so sad... beautiful young men who had the world at their feet. My big son is learning about the holocaust at school and has been very emotional of late. In class, they watched the documentary, 'Hitler's Holocaust', featuring real footage of the camps. Son said that every boy in the class was sobbing. He said Anzac Day really hit him this year. I thought of my 'Pa-Pa' all day and what he, and millions, sacrificed so we could live a wonderful, free life.

Andy Griffiths - essential restaurant reading material

It was a family day. We headed off to the local 'Pig and Whistle' for dinner and had our weekly 'family meeting', between mouthfuls. My boys have embraced the format of our meetings with gusto. It's a chance for them to share their deep feelings in a safe environment. We share 'levels': "Mum, when you yell at me when I am running late, what I make up about myself is that I am not important, not worthy... and for that I feel... pain, anger and loneliness". It's a technique I learnt about, through the tough times last year....a way to share your personal reality in a respectful, clear and honest way. You name the behaviour: "what/when I saw, what/when I heard, what/when I noticed". You state your thoughts about you, when the behaviour occurs: "what I believed about me was, what it triggers from my past, what I made up about myself "..... then you share the feelings you experience as a result of the meaning you attach to the behaviour: "and what I felt was, and what I feel is..... love, fear, pain, anger, loneliness, guilt, joy, shame" (the 8 core feelings). It's such a powerful technique which brings about such great communication and openness. Gotta keep those boys talking!

We also share affirmations.... "when you do this, I feel joy, love," etc... and amends... apologies for certain behaviours, arguments etc. It's full on... but my boys talk, and talk and share and it makes them more aware of our family dynamic and how moods, attitudes and behaviours affect each of us on a daily basis.

Rather deep for this time of the morning.... but as I am a 'fly by the seat of my pants blogger'... that's it for today!  I wanted to share with you what works for me, us. I always feel so light after our little family meetings... like we've reset the clock and all is right with the world. Do you do something similar with your family? Do you have a sharing method? Chats at dinner? Family meetings?

It feels like Monday today as we had the day off yesterday... but it's Thursday!.... #mylifeinthecar day.... piano lessons straight after school and then straight to soccer til 8pm. Deep breaths!

Happy Thursday!

Photobucket

10 comments:

  1. I pulled out my ol guitar during the holidays (inspired by your recent violin escapades) and leave it just inside my walk-in-robe to remind me to grab it each day and practise!!
    We too have family meetings, but I must admit they are no longer weekly and have become a whinge session when we DO have one.
    I will take something from your format and try again - I too have a teenager and you have to keep them talking. My son has Autism, so that changes the meeting a bit as his language and understanding of feelings and emotions is limited. He feels, but can't relate to what others' feel.
    My challenge! My champion.
    Daughter not sleeping at the moment (i.e. so neither am I) so I really needed your post this morning! thanks for the lift!
    XXXOOO have a lovely day.


    Helen

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  2. Oh A-M I really don't think that blazer will last to the end of the year!!!!!
    I remember so well getting Brisbane boy a new blazer and trousers just before the may holidays then day two of hols he got a really bad dose of the flu and was in bed for 10 days!
    First day back to school and the pants were 2 inches too short and the blazer sleeves were round his elbows!!!!! They do these amazing growing spurts almost overnight at this age!!!!!!

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  3. It's so nice to see that you have picked up music again. I try to tell my students that it's a lifetime hobby, and you prove that. Go girl! :-)

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  4. I love that blue chair space. Beautiful and inviting.

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  5. I just love the way Son No. 2 has to stand up on the ledge to be taller than Son No. 1. It's utterly adorable!!!

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  6. Hi A-M
    I think it is a wonderful idea to have a weekly family meeting with your boys. I have a 14 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter. My daughter talks more freely (actually it is hard to get a word in once she starts, but I love that.) As a family, we do what we call "Good and Bad' around the dinner table each night. We take turns saying what the best thing about the day was and then say if there was any bad. Most nights the kids say "no bad." But if there is any bad, it gets them talking about it. We have been doing this ever since they started school. Even dinner guests have been included by the kids...much to their amusement...or maybe horror.
    Sharyn

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  7. PS: That's funny about the blazer. My son started back at school today and was complaining his blazer was "way too big." It's really not that big...and I do want this one to last the next five years. So I totally get where you're coming from.
    Sharyn

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  8. Oh Sweetheart. What a fabulous format you have for your 'family meetings'. Brilliant. We have the same on Planet Baby but at a more basic level ☺. J x

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  9. Oh i'm going to my children's' ceremonies next week (our Easter holidays are all out of synch) when they resume school, very difficult when my husband is actually at war. We haven't lost any family in wars, very lucky, so many of my uncles, great grandfathers went to war, my side came back pretty Ok, my husband's side of the family, not so good mentally. How incredibly hard, at least now they get counselling, good quality counselling, love Posie

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Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave me a comment. I love hearing from you. A-M xx