After the Anzac Day Memorial Service at school, I spent most of yesterday here.... scratching away. Scratching, scratching, scratching. The 'my ears are bleeding' quips from the boys have stopped... and they're now saying, "it's sounding better Mum". Ha, I only practise the really hard bits when they're not around! It's all very technically hard. I have the soundtracks playing on my computer next to me so at least I am keeping up now with the pace of the music. Serious challenge. I'm leaving my violin permanently there, out of it's case, so I am encouraged to pick it up and practise it whenever I have a spare moment. Sitting in that chair does make me play better. It does. The chair. I love it. We've been through exciting times that chair and I.
If we're lucky, we might get to the end of the year with that shrinking blazer!
Andy Griffiths - essential restaurant reading material
It was a family day. We headed off to the local 'Pig and Whistle' for dinner and had our weekly 'family meeting', between mouthfuls. My boys have embraced the format of our meetings with gusto. It's a chance for them to share their deep feelings in a safe environment. We share 'levels': "Mum, when you yell at me when I am running late, what I make up about myself is that I am not important, not worthy... and for that I feel... pain, anger and loneliness". It's a technique I learnt about, through the tough times last year....a way to share your personal reality in a respectful, clear and honest way. You name the behaviour: "what/when I saw, what/when I heard, what/when I noticed". You state your thoughts about you, when the behaviour occurs: "what I believed about me was, what it triggers from my past, what I made up about myself "..... then you share the feelings you experience as a result of the meaning you attach to the behaviour: "and what I felt was, and what I feel is..... love, fear, pain, anger, loneliness, guilt, joy, shame" (the 8 core feelings). It's such a powerful technique which brings about such great communication and openness. Gotta keep those boys talking!
We also share affirmations.... "when you do this, I feel joy, love," etc... and amends... apologies for certain behaviours, arguments etc. It's full on... but my boys talk, and talk and share and it makes them more aware of our family dynamic and how moods, attitudes and behaviours affect each of us on a daily basis.
Rather deep for this time of the morning.... but as I am a 'fly by the seat of my pants blogger'... that's it for today! I wanted to share with you what works for me, us. I always feel so light after our little family meetings... like we've reset the clock and all is right with the world. Do you do something similar with your family? Do you have a sharing method? Chats at dinner? Family meetings?
It feels like Monday today as we had the day off yesterday... but it's Thursday!.... #mylifeinthecar day.... piano lessons straight after school and then straight to soccer til 8pm. Deep breaths!